One Little Candle

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Starting Over

Just as a New year unfolds, I begin a new chapter in my blogging world. I vow to start again, this time on a better note. The last few years have been dark and depressing and although I cannot promise to not have dark and depressing days, I will try harder. 

I begin a new chapter. 

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Down

And so I turn to writing once again.

Because right now it is unbearable.

Because I am just human

And I can only take so much, endure so much.

And right now all I can do is cry in silence. And scream without making a sound.

And try and make it through the day.

 

 

 

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I Did My Best …

… but my best wasn’t good enough.

I have failed. And I shouldn’t be discouraged, I know.

I should move on. And try and try again. I know.

It’s hard though. To stand up after you fell.

To try and make it again after you failed.

Failure is such a bitch!

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Day 15

And so it went – the days of newness and trial and error. And what a rollercoaster it has been. I was so terrified on the first day, got my bearings on the second day, lost my way on the 8th and got back on track on the 10th. A lot of different factors came into play – my health, the weather, life. But here I am, on the 15th day. 
All I can say is that I am trying my very best. And hoping that my best will be good enough. 
I’m hanging in there. 
 

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Day 5

It’s turning out to be not that bad – this thing that I am doing. Everything’s scary when you’re first starting but humans are resilient creatures. And so I trudge along. I go along with the flow. There are good days and bad. There are easy days and difficult days. I take it one day at a time. In stride. And hope that all the best that I can do will be good enough.
Day 5. And counting….

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Day 1

And so here I am – on the cusp of starting something new. Something I would prefer to write about in the abstract. Just that it’s something new and scary and it makes me double guess myself. Am I doing the right thing? This is what I have decided, I know. Something I have been preparing for. But now that it’s finally here I am panicky and scared shitless.

What the heck have I gotten myself into?

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